I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
