and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
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I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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