CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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