Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
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Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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