People with herpes should wear stickers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize