So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
