the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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