He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
