Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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