OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
this is an emotional support booty call
Let's get the cat blown out
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
