My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
