Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
