Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
