No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
