So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize