Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
