you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i think im in europe. pls send help
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
