omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
