it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
