i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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