quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
