we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
