id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
