There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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