he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
