can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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