He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
ok first of all what the fuck
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize