You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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