Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize