so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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