So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
