Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
