are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
