Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
