D3 body, D1 cock
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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