I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
