Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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