im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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