So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
