Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize