Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
