He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize