the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
