I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
