Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
