C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
