I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
