I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
