Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
