is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
