Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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