these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
