just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize