HIV tests are more positive than that guy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
