then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
