pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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