Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
