I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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