but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
