She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We got so high we made milksteak
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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