You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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