dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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