I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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