Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
