So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
